I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Whirling Dervish (wurl-ing dur-vish) n. 1. A mystical
dancer who stands between the material and cosmic
worlds. His dance is part of a sacred ceremony
in which the dervish rotates in a precise rhythm.
He represents the earth revolving on its axis while
orbiting the sun. The purpose of the ritual whirling
is for the dervish to empty himself of all distracting
thoughts, placing him in trance; released from
his body he conquers dizziness.
{Hey, that might come in handy!!}
Gregangelo's Whirling Circus Dervish.
n. 1. A circus version of the sacred dance combining
ancient, contemporary, and futuristic media. The dance
depicts the creation of the Universe through a spinning
series of fantastic formations, metamorphoses, elaborate
costumes, and rhythmic dance. 2. A figure of speech
used in reference to one who exhibits vigorous energy.
{Never been accused of that!}
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now."
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one . . . It wasn't doing what I was doing.
I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."
I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked up to me and said, "Can I help you?" And I said "Yeah, do you got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have anything you like?" I said, "You started this."
The term, obverse, and its opposite, reverse, describe the two sides of units of currency and many other kinds of two-sided objects - most often in reference tocoins, but also to paper currency, flags (see Flag terminology), medals, drawings, old master prints and other works of art, and printed fabrics. The terms may be interchanged respectively with the more casual, but less precise terms, such as "front" and "back" or, for coins only, "heads" and "tails" also occurs.
In many areas other than coins, reverse is used much more commonly than obverse. Front and reverse also may be used together more frequently.
Recto and verso are the equivalent terms for front and back used for the pages of books, especially illuminated manuscripts, and also often for prints and drawings.
I'm not even going to start on "recto-".........
A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.
One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, "I'm too young to die," she cried. Then she yelled, "If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be Memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate
woman in the front of the plane. Then a man from Alabama stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest. She gasped...
Here’s the next installment in our basic aircraft information series. I’m sure we all remember the basic formula for computing the speed of dynamic hydroplaning as 9 times the square root of the tire pressure, but for those of you wanting a fuller refresher, we turn to our old friend Wikipedia…
Here’s the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydroplaning_(tires)
We’re concerned with section 3, so if you want to skip to there, feel free. Just remember to go back and review all the other important stuff later.
While you can read this article for yourself, I’ll just point out a few favorite observations:
Please don’t skip the section on “Viscous Hydroplaning” – it goes into rubber buildup in the landing area,,,the proper description of “Slicker than owl shit”!
Reverted rubber hydroplaning happens quicker than a wet fart – it’s over before you realize it’s happening.
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico...
But as we know... the great ship did not make it to New York... The ship hit an iceberg and sank. The cargo was forever lost...
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery... were disconsolate at the loss...
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day...
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th... and! is known...of course... as...
Sinko de Mayo.
Oh, and also
"THIS"...
Make you hungry??
Washington - Airport security personnel in the US will soon be able to see passengers stark naked without their having to remove clothes, through a new X-ray machine that has generated much controversy. The agency in charge of the nation's air security expects to begin using later this year the controversial X-ray machine that will show airport screeners a clear picture of what's under passengers' clothes, whether weapons or just bare skin, according to USA Today. The refrigerator-sized new machines, considered a breakthrough in scanning technology, have been labelled "a virtual strip" by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). But according to transportation security administration (TSA), the new system makes it easy to see possibly dangerous devices.
Screeners plan to test these "backscatter" machines at several US airports. Security workers using the machines can see through clothes and peer at whatever may be hidden in undergarments, shirts or pants. The images also paint a revealing picture of a person's nude body. The devices can potentially be used to screen hundreds of millions of air travellers each year, although TSA says more study is needed to determine how the devices may be used at US airports. The agency has decline to say when and where it expects to test the machines.
According to American science and engineering (ASE), the machines costing $100,000 bounce low-radiation X-rays off a person's skin to produce photo-like computer images of metal, plastic and organic materials hidden under clothes. "Backscatter" technology has been waiting on the sidelines for nearly 4 years but seems poised now to move to the forefront of aviation security. The machines are already used by US customs agents at 12 airports to screen passengers suspected of carrying drugs. They are also getting a test run at a terminal in London's Heathrow airport, the first major airport to use them.
Source: daijiworld.com 18 May 2005
More info here: http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/terrorism/what_rights_are_left.htm
Users of vacuum tube-based equipment know that when a failure occurs, the tubes employed in the equipment should be among the first things checked. Since tube manufacturers have published typical operating conditions for most tube types, suitable tests can be made which will help determine whether a tube is functioning satisfactorily. These tests are created with data compiled from comparing the manufacturer's specified conditions for the tube against observations of the tube's performance in various types of equipment designed for it.
The tests are performed using a device known as, not surprisingly, a tube tester (sometimes called a tube checker). Tube testers normally perform one or more of the three major types of tests to which a tube may be subjected. Those tests typically are:
The Short Circuit Test. In this test, a low-current voltage is applied between the internal elements of the tube with an indicator bulb wired in series with the elements. Any two elements that are touching will light the bulb and indicate an internal short circuit. The current must be kept low so that high resistance shorts (where the elements are just barely touching) will not cause the bulb to light and thus indicate a short that may not adversely affect tube performance. Shorted tubes should be discarded without further testing. If a tube passes the short test, though, it still may fail other tests.
The Emission Test. A vacuum tube operates by emitting electrons from its cathode. As a tube ages, cathode emission tends to decrease until no further emission is possible. An emission tester is configured to tie together and apply a direct current (DC) voltage to all elements of the tube except the plate or anode. Next, a positive voltage is applied to the plate. Emission quality is then read from a meter that indicates total plate current. If the reading is below the average published value for the tube type, the tube can be tossed out immediately.
The Transconductance Test. This test's purpose is to measure the ability of the tube to amplify a given signal. The short and emission tests are static tests, whereas the transconductance test is a dynamic one in that it measures the effect of a changing voltage on the tube. This type of test is considered a more accurate indicator of a tube's worth and gives a clue as to how the tube will perform under varying conditions.
In this test, separate DC voltages are applied to the tube elements, with an alternating current (AC) voltage applied to the grid or control electrode. This causes an AC component to appear as part of the total plate current and that component is read on an output meter. Dividing the indicated AC plate current by the voltage applied to the grid gives the transconductance of the tube. If this value is below the published value for the tube, the tube is a candidate for the discard pile. However, the tube may still work fine in less demanding circuits.
These tests, whose accuracy is only as good as the correlated data from manufacturer's specifications and actual observation, are usually sufficient for general use. For more demanding situations, there are laboratory-grade tube testers that are capable of analyzing all aspects of a tube's performance. The final test of a tube's worth, once the tube tester has passed it, is whether the tube will perform in circuits designed for it.
SOURCES
RCA Staff. RCA Receiving Tube Manual, technical series RC-22. Harrison, New Jersey: Radio Corporation of America, 1963.
ARRL Staff. The Radio Amateur's Handbook, 46th edition. Newington, Connecticut: The American Radio Relay League, 1969.
