Leisure time

The wife and I were at home watching TV.

I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

She became more and more annoyed and finally said:

"For God's sake! Leave it on the porn channel!

You already know how to fish!"

Just had to steal this!!!

Year to date statistics on Airport pat-down screening from the TSA

Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Incontinence 6,418
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

She was so ugly, I think she fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down!

Unused Space?

Oxymoron #28

Unused Space

If it was used, it wouldn't be space - there would be something there. Which leads to:

Oxymoron #29

Empty Space

See Oxymoron #28...

Shit!

I just did the dishes and Judy's coming home today......

Quick, put some back in the sink, don't want to create the wrong impression!!!

Caught in the act!

Did I mention before how much I hate painting?

Well, here it is....

...and this is the EASY end!

I HATE painting!

Did I mention that I hate painting? Well, I do!